It’s not every week that two major celebrity sex tapes leak… even if both of them turn out to be not as scandalous as we first thought…

HIGHS:

We started the week off on the right foot with the totally out-of-control, four-part bone-fest that was the Miss Trinidad and Tobago’s sex tape. In the beginning, it seemed that the tape featured the Miss Universe contestants from Japan and Trinidad/Tobago, but the lucky guy in all this stepped in to claim it was another Japanese lady.

Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes first came to our attention this week. On Monday, we brought you the story of the seven or eight existing tapes; at last, two screenshots from the tape were said to have leaked, and we posted them, wondering if they were really of Carrie. Why isn’t the rest of the tape out there? How can we be sure this really is her? Of course, it wasn’t… or so it seems. (Carmen Electra also had a fake sex tape leak, but this was actually her and she leaked it herself. Fail.)

Thank God this nude shoot was real– it almost makes up for the Prejean thing.

Normally, Japanese tentacle porn falls outside of the high points of our week, but combine it with Pablo Picasso and you’ve got yourself a winner.

This just in– men were just as hot in the 1950s, 1960s, and so forth. In fact, they were probably cooler then, too.

Here’s one that could’ve gone either way: in the annals of history, we’re pretty sure this is going to be considered high… camp, that is.

The hype for the new Twilight movie could’ve ruined our week entirely, but this video helped us get through.

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LOWS:

The international edition of the Couples Retreat poster almost ruined our Monday… except for the fact that we didn’t really give a damn about Couples Retreat.

Readers weighed in on the “duckface,” which I think Scanner Drew just made famous. Verdict: worse than hipsters.

She Who Must Not Be Named returned to terrify us, this time in the nude.

We got to interview “Lady Gaga,” but then she just ended up running out on Scanner Jim. The outrage…!

And Amy Winehouse’s boobs are back in the news… inevitably, this time it’s because they’re leaking.

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We sometimes take for granted how lucky most women are in this country, that sex is something we can discuss and make jokes about, even if there still exists a double-standard for sexual proclivity for a man versus a woman. Watch Sunarsih’s video after the jump and take a moment out of your day to consider the 17,000+ women still held in sexual captivity in the U.S. alone.

The best Playboy covers of all-time series continues with the lackluster (and yet still somewhat mesmerizing) 1990s.

The oversharers at The Frisky weighed in with stories of The Best Sex They Ever Had. Most of it’s pretty bland, but perhaps this will jog some memories– feel free to share them in the comments section.

A new study indicates that, to have the best chance of attracting men, women should reveal about 40% of their bodies.

Yowza– Fleshbot has compiled a staggering assortment of unpublished Marilyn Monroe nudes, some of which are among the best photos ever taken of her– certainly the best photos taken of the star in the buff.

Meanwhile, Miranda Kerr and Lily Cole starred in more leaked naked photos from the 2010 Pirelli calendar.

Here’s the sex headline that got my undivided attention this week: “Worried pimp ‘called off Rabbi Baruch Chalomish’s three-day drug-fuelled orgy’”

Dick Cheney’s (lesbian) daughter Mary gave birth to her second child this week in DC.

“At times, up to 80 percent of the [Swedish] municipality’s internet capacity was used for file sharing, an activity which is oftentimes illegal. In addition, employees and students spent an unexpectedly large amount of time visiting websites featuring pornography, weapons, racist messages, games, and online gambling.” Surprised?

And Evolutionary Psychology decided to delve into testicles — namely the in’s and out’s, of course. (Oh, and why they hang. Seriously, this is everything you’ve ever wanted to know about balls.)

New York may not allow same-sex marriages, but they’ll uphold the rights of those who have gotten married in other states,  the New York Court of Appeals decided today. And even though gay marriage is still not legal in the big apple, we’re at least moving forward, according to The New York Times article:

The Court of Appeals will probably weigh in on other cases involving same-sex marriage. The Alliance Defense Fund is also coordinating the legal challenge to an order issued last year by Gov. David A. Paterson, an outspoken supporter of same-sex marriage, that requires state agencies to recognize such marriages performed in other states.

So technically gay New York couples just have to take a trip up to Vermont or Iowa, get married, and come back to their home state to have their relationship recognized in civil courts. That’s an improvement, but not enough. Hopefully one day New Yorkers can get married in their own city and have it count, though for now the issue has been tabled for the Legislature.

Related: Maine Votes to Repeal Gay Marriage, This Is How We’ll Win The Marriage Fight…, Video: World War II Veteran Speaks In Support Of Gay Marriage

Here at Nerve HQ (which is the opulent compound that also houses Scanner HQ), we noticed recently that an essay we’d posted many weeks ago was suddenly flooded with page views from Brazil. While the story is called “True Stories: Brazilian Girls,” we did some digging and found that the Brazilian Marie Claire wrote a piece in response. Here is my ultra-sophisticated Babelfish translation:

To kiss a Brazilian is easy, but take it to bed or both. Example is the chronicle of a journalist Saul Elbein for Nerve.com, a site that compiles texts about sex and culture. The adventure of Saul in brazilian lands is funny and has a touch anthropological, and perhaps so do not leave (in months) from the list of most read site.

Awesome, right? Welcome, readers from Brazil! Noooooooot exactly. Apparently they did not like what they found. A few sample comments:

I went to the US with 2 goals: not to be killed by some psycho , and find some girl not so fat so I can have sex.

You came here, got a prostitute, paid her so many drinks, took 3 days to get laid with her and you think you are the king? Man, gimme a break!!! your portuguese sucks! YOU suck! Looser bastard…

Silly, idiot, stupid! only a prostitute to want you! You are nothing!

Ouch! Damn you, pageview monkey paw! But hey, if it’s interesting enough to make scores of Brazilian people eviscerate it in the comments, then it’s good enough for you. So I thought I’d share.