Answer: after she gives us one more present…

HIGHS:

Readers excitedly defended Prince of Persia, which kind of looks hilarious in an unintentionally-funny sort of way, now that James mentions it.

This local character would like you to share a bathtub with him. Strangely enough, it’s the most normal Craig’s List post we’ve seen all week.

Our Top 5 Sexiest BBC Stars list ballooned to a Top 15 when readers weighed in. Oh, but there are about 25 more we could add…

Reader JD was puzzled by our Fruit Bats Engage In More Foreplay Than Most Americans post, providing the comment of the week: “‘The animal isn’t even a mammal. It’s a bat…man.’ !!! What? Are you serious?”

Honestly, the Most Perfect Woman of the 1930s is kind of the most perfect woman of today.

If Consumer Reports needs any help, we can volunteer to test out condoms with some other hot volunteers.

And we know it’s probably not Jessica Alba’s naked ass in this clip, but we still want to see this creepy movie.

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LOWS:

Drew rounded up the worst of the celebrity Halloween costumes. As if we could fit all of them on one blog page…

Seriously, cell phone service providers, it is not cool that we’re seeing porn on our accounts.

Let’s hope this is the last we hear of Carrie Prejean… until that sex tape surfaces, of course.

While you’re leaving, Carrie, can you take this guy’s makeup with you?

Oddly, this supposedly real news story is the one everyone thought was fake, while the fake story we thought was real was fake. Phew.

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Last night’s season premiere of the Desperate Housewives of Greedytrash, California featured a long segment about star Gretchen Rossi’s nude photo scandal, which continues to threaten to keep this show on the air.

Rossi’s fellow backstabbers trashed her in the episode, probably wishing they were getting all that publicity:

In the episode, Tamra Barney and Vicki Gunvalson meet for lunch and discuss their disdain for Rossi, complaining about her inappropriate internet photos.

At one point, Barney asks Gunvalson, “There’s a picture of her with a vibrator laying on a bed with a cord, I’m like, ‘Holy Mother of Gynecology! Who has a vibrator with a cord?’”

Later, Rossi addresses the photo scandal, saying that the photos were made public without her knowledge and that she is embarrassed by them.

She says the pictures were taken when she was mourning the death of her husband and was “in a dark place.” [Daily News]

Now do you understand why we’re annoyed and bitching in this post? She went there. She played the “dead husband” card to explain why she had pictures of herself masturbating and peeing (we’re hoping that’s what it was in the below pic):

I mean, is this show going to be the big write-in candidate for the Peabodies next year or what?

Via.

Image.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we here at Scanner (and Nerve in general) are heavily invested in Mad Men. As devoted fans, we are are both eagerly anticipating and dreading Sunday night, when we’ll see the final episode of the third season. For that glorious hour, our humdrum lives will be nothing more than a faint buzz in the background. Once it’s done, we’ll be empty shells (until next August rolls around).

But for now we’re joyously debating what will happen. And I want to know what you think, dear readers.

[Don't read this poll if you're not up-to-date on the season and don't want to be spoiled. You've been warned.]

In yet another display of the finest and least sensational in television entertainment, today’s episode of The Tyra Banks Show features a woman with two vaginas. For your benefit, and because you have to take advantage of the moment before it passes you by, I will write it again: today’s episode of The Tyra Banks Show features a woman with two vajayjays.

According to the official press release, twenty-nine-year-old Lauren Williams says:

I’ve got two uteruses. Just one to each [fallopian tube], then they go down to two cervixes, and then it did go down to the two vaginas.

Williams goes on to say that she was twenty-five-years-old when she was diagnosed and believes that she is the recipient of two periods, which seems like particularly bad luck. The least her body could do is sync the cycles.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself,  “Two vaginas! What fun I could have with two vaginas!” But it can’t be all that it’s hyped up to be. Speaking on behalf of all straight men, we have enough to worry about with the one vagina. I’m thirty, and it still takes me half the night to find the one clitoris; to find a second would just be overwhelming. Not to mention her utter disgust if you can’t get the whole intercourse-thing right even with two chances. I imagine it’s like a carnival game in which all you have to do to win is throw a softball into the giant basket twice: sure it seems easy, but ultimately, you’re set up for failure.

Someone has found the outtakes from last month’s Rolling Stone spread of Megan Fox wearing American Apparel. Maybe we should just start calling Friday humpday (if ya know what I mean).

Pics after the jump.

More photos can be found at, where else, Foxy-Megan.com